The Illusion of Control

 

West Fork Black River, Apache National Forest, AZ

These week-long camping trips allow plenty of time for contemplation.  Here's some of what I've been thinking.

Since the Dragon Bravo Fire, still burning in and north of Grand Canyon after almost two months, I’ve begun to question some of my assumptions.  Whenever I headed home from camping in the North Kaibab Forest, I assumed that it would be there in its usual state when I got back.  I’d make a list of places to revisit or explore next time, fully expecting to have that opportunity. After the last trip, in June, I did just that, and I was wrong.  I am not in control.

I never was.  Our futures are never guaranteed.  Of course, we all know this, but we’re quite skilled at denying the truth.

 Last week, though I longed to be in the Kaibab, we camped in the White Mountains (Apache National Forest) instead.  I had plans.  The weather had different plans.

 

A walk in the rainstorm.  The Raven (sprinter van) is just visible in the background

We love to see thunderstorms in Arizona, especially when the summer rainy season is delayed as it was this year.  On this trip we were confined to the van for big chunks of the day when I, Marco, and Gypsy the Wonder Dog would rather have been out doing our things (photographing, fishing, and sniffing around, respectively).  After the storms, though, it was spectacular.

 

Golden fog after the storm, Apache National Forest, AZ

Fog settled into the canyons on a couple of post-storm mornings, creating spectacular light and atmospheric effects.

 

Along a creek in the Black River watershed, Apache National Forest, AZ

I can't resist posting another fog image.

Lush Green and Reflected Sunset, Apache National Forest, AZ

One evening, after wrapping up a Zoom meeting, I looked outside and saw this sky in one direction and a rainbow in the other.  I knew it wouldn’t last long enough to pull out the tripod and big girl gear, so a ran down to the creek to catch it and the reflection with my phone.  I’m glad it’s 2025, and phone cameras are quite good.

 

Wild Hops,  Apache National Forest, AZ

In overcast conditions, rather than put a lot of energy into frustration, photographers often work more in black and white and shoot smaller scenes.

There are other conditions which remind us that we’re not in control.  I’m thinking of roads unexpectedly closed, and of a favorite camping spot (in my case in the Mojave Preserve) newly designated as wilderness.  No camping.

Favorite places can also become too popular.  I’ve whined about that before. I’d often rather not go than jockey for position. That, too, is not subject to my command. 

Hammock time.

I find that a hammock is an invaluable tool for settling down and relinquishing the need to manage situations.

More from this trip are in the Summer 2025 Gallery on the website.

 

 

Say Their Names

My most-loved spots in the North Kaibab Forest, AZ

This post has been tough to write. It’s is mostly for me - to help me grieve.  The little hearts on the map (a portion of the Dragon Bravo Fire Map from Watch Duty) correspond to some favorite spots, lost in the fire.

When the forest re-opens, likely next season, I’ll get out and do some “after” shots.  That’ll be yet another step in processing the loss.

Forest Road 6548

I was just there in June.  There was a carpet of lupines starting among the big ponderosa trunks and I swore I’d get back to photograph the blooms in July.  This place had the best shade among the tall trees on hot days.

Forest Road 213

One of my favorite magic forest spots, complete with an s-curve and lovely mixed forest.

Aspen Island

We made the name up, after finding this spot perusing satellite maps.  Last June we camped in a slightly different spot.  We liked it better and assumed we’d have a chance to camp there again.  The Arizona Trail snaked through a meadow below us and afforded lots of hiking options.

Dog Point

Some of the best foregrounds on the East Rim were here, and I never saw another camper.

611P

There was shade and a great view over Marble Canyon here.  I shot my favorite “bowbanger” (rainbow with lightning) image from this spot.

The Big Meadows

There were more than one, of course.  The one on the map was my favorite, stretching in several directions and harboring tiny vinca flowers, the first to bloom in the early summer.

Forest Road 6452A

This camp was close to the road and well known.  Still there was the sense of being on the edge of the canyon and in your own world.  There was great access to the Arizona trail and meadows. 

Forest Road 612

I first found this area in a rainstorm.  I was looking for a quiet, sheltered place with a friend.  I came back many times. There were great campsites and particularly lovely aspen groves, as well as Meadow access.  The road was just bad enough to scare most people away but not bad enough to deter us. I remember a hailstorm one morning with great joy.

Marble Viewpoint

There’s no secret here.  The place is sentimental, since it’s where Pete Ensenberger first introduced me to the Kaibab Forest Viewpoints.  Famously one of the windiest places on the plateau, there’s a vast expanse of wind-pruned plants, including a famous and much-photographed tree. If you could tuck into the trees for shelter, it was a great spot.

Saddle Mountain Trailhead

The home of the Saddle Mountain and Nankoweep trailheads, this spot afforded great views of incoming storms and inversions.  I always felt I had unfinished business there.

I had unfinished business throughout the East Side Forest.

I’ll try to love what this place becomes as it recovers, and to be grateful for all the time I enjoyed before the fire.

Redneck Forest and Beyond

Summer flowers, Upper Provo River Utah

The Big Summer Utah Road Trip. It was a little different this time.

Normally we make a stop in the North Kaibab National Forest, enjoying a favorite place and breaking up the first leg of the trip.  Of course, these treasured lands are ablaze.  3 ½ weeks after the fire began, the fire is listed at 9% contained and has burned over 70,000 acres.  I’ve written a bit about that lately.  I’ll just say that being in mourning for the loss of a favorite place puts an odd shroud on the trip.

Campsite in Fishlake National Forest Utah

So, we started in a part of the Fishlake National Forest in the Tushar Mountains that I’ve come to call “Redneck Forest”. The Paiute ATV trail runs through it.  There are quite a few ATVs there.  Noisy.  As we’ve come to know this area, though, we’ve learned to find quiet spots.

Aspen Circle (lower center), Fishlake National Forest Utah

We’ve taken to calling one favorite spot “Aspen Circle.”  We discovered it last year and were excited to tuck into the idyllic spot last week.  Not so fast.  There was a small, downed tree across the road, and our camping saw seemed to have disappeared.  We found another nearby spot for that night and got a saw at Walmart in Park City.  Well, nearby.  There’s no Walmart in Park City, of Course. We fixed that tree situation up on the way home.  It was a high-five moment in our little family, and we got to camp at Aspen Circle.

Lupines and baby conifer, Fishlake National Forest Utah

We had some lovely rain in Redneck Forest, to our great joy.  We haven’t had appreciable rain at home this year, so we treasured what there was on the road.  The wildflowers were resplendent in the high country.

The Park City tradition includes a rental house which is dog-friendly and has laundry facilities.  The shower felt nice, too.  We love being in Old Town, renting a ski house deeply discounted for the summer. Park City Resort has hiking trails crisscrossing it, and there was a trailhead just around the corner.  How wonderful to roll out of bed and have a nice morning hike.

Upper Provo River, Uinta Mountains Utah

East Fork Bear River, Uinta Mountains Utah

Regular readers will remember that my husband is an avid fly-angler.  There are lots of opportunities to entrap trout nearby, but none can compare to stops along the Mirror Lake Highway, on the Upper Provo and Bear Rivers.  The photo opportunities are great, too.

Trips with Gypsy are always modified for her needs.  Restaurants must have a dog-friendly patio and when shopping, one person stays in the air-conditioned vehicle with the girl.  It’s all worth it because her joy hiking and splashing in rivers is contagious. As she’s matured (6 years old now, can you believe it?) there are more hikes and fewer visits to the dog park.

As soon as the shadow of the long drive passes, we’ll plan a Park City road trip for next year.

There are more images in the Summer 2025 Gallery on the website.

Eulogy

Enjoying the Moon Room, Grand Canyon North Rim Lodge

I was planning to tack an addendum on last month’s blog about my deep love for the North Rim of the Grand Canyon and surrounding forests.  I think I’ll offer a photo tribute instead.  I’m looking for a bit of peace for myself and perhaps others.

July 12-13, a lightning caused fire, managed as a controlled burn, got out of control and burned most of the developed area of Grand Canyon National Park’s North Rim. The finger-pointing will come soon, but for now the Dragon Bravo Fire has left many of us grieving.

Grand Canyon North Rim Lodge, 2015

The loss of the 1930s lodge has been confirmed.  Otherwise, we know that “50-80” buildings have been torched.

Lupines along the Widforss Trail

We also mourn the thrashing of most of the spectacular forest along the Widforss Trail.

More Lupines near the Transept Trail

Looking South from the Transept Trail

The beautiful scenes along the Transept Trail are unlikely to have survived.

Otherwise, the extent of the damage is not yet clear, and the fire is still uncontained.

Here are a few other places inside the park, dear to my heart.

Near Fire Point

View from Fire Point

Fire Point, which burned a few years ago, after these images were made.

Contemplating the view from Cape Final

Cape Final

The famous view from Cape Royal at dawn

Cape Royal

Mount Hayden from Point Imperial at sunrise

Point Imperial

Storm at Point Sublime

 Point Sublime

Spectacular geology from the Uncle Jim Trail

Uncle Jim and Ken Patrick Trails

From Swamp Point

Swamp point

Loss is part of life, and wildland fires are part of the wilderness, but I don’t have to like either.

Peace be with you.

Feelings

Granite Mountain Hotshots Procession, July 7, 2013

That’s the photograph that most gets me thinking about emotion in my work.  Today is the 12^th anniversary of the day I stood roadside in the desert in July, waiting for this caravan.  It was a long, hot wait, intended to capture an image, but also to pay tribute to the 19 young men who perished trying to save our town a week before.  These were emotional days.  We knew our house was still standing but also knew that many friends were not so lucky. We would not be let back into town until the next day but were already starting to organize recovery efforts. This image brings me back to that roadside perch with all the associated emotion.

Cowboy intensity, Springerville AZ

That’s an extreme example of emotional content.  Others are more subtle, but feelings are much easier to engender with images which include a human element.  We can’t resist the direct gaze of another person, and our brains are adept at parsing the subtleties of facial expression.

Brown Bear intensity, Katmai National Park AK

Eyes are also compelling in other animals.  There’s potential for emotion in wildlife photography, too.

After prayer, Casablanca Morocco

Body language, even when there’s no visible face, can also trigger feelings.

Eagle hunter with her partner, Altai Mongolia

I enjoy photographing people, especially when I travel.  There’s a heightened sense of connection when I do, even if there’s a language barrier. 

My real passion, as regular readers will know, is landscape.  Here’s where conveying sentiment becomes a little more challenging, and messages a little subtler.

Grand Canyon AZ

Color is a useful tool toward conveying these messages. Oranges, for example, are friendly and cheerful.

Kaibab National Forest AZ

Greens feel peaceful and healthy.

Death Valley National Park CA

Line and Gesture are other subtle examples.  What do you feel in this image?

San Simeon CA

Soft focus and intentional camera movement convey gentleness and quiet.

San Clemente, CA

I’ve been teased for years for using sun stars as a compositional tool, but they also speak of optimism and add a spiritual element.

Kaibab National Forest AZ

One of the tricky aspects of trying to convey feelings to art’s audiences is that my complex network of emotions around an image might not be conveyed at all, and certainly not the same way to any two viewers.  I’ll remember the feel of the wind, smell of fallen aspen leaves, and sound of elk bugling in the distance.  You might just see pretty trees, or maybe the image reminds you of camping with your grandfather.

Conveying emotion is a big part of the purpose of art. 

Thanks for stopping by to see what you might feel.